51 New Funny Love Quotes Give by Great human’s In English

Most people’s demand that we placed on our site Funny Love Quotes. So here we have brought to you some funny love quotes. Here’s the funny love quotes are provided by Great Men.

“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin
“Being a good husband is like being a stand–up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“Love thy neighbor, just watch out for the husband.”
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” – Jean Illsley Clarke
“Falling in love is not at all the most stupid thing that people do, but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it.” – Albert Einstein
“A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
“What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.” – Pearl Bailey
“The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you.” – Markus Zusak, The Book Thief
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.4” – Charles Schulz
“Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.” – Lynda Barry
“My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.” – Ray Romano
“Love lasteth as long as the money endureth.”
“I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.” – Jack Benny
“Beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, though, maybe, an injured one.”
“A touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.” – Plato
“Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.” – Unknown
“Love means nothing in tennis, but it’s everything in life.” – Author unknown
“A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick. A youth with his first girl makes everybody sick.” – Mary Wilson
“Come live in my heart and pay no rent.” – Samuel Lover
“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long–term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” – Chelsea Handler
“Trust your husband, adore your husband, and transfer as much property as you can to your name.”
“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X–rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
“Love, I’ve come to understand is more than three words mumbled before bedtime.” – Nicholas Sparks
“People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” – Andy Warhol
“Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” – David Sedaris
30. “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” – Phyllis Diller
31. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” – Erma Bombeck
“You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” – Henny Youngman
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. – Helen Rowland
“No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.” – Unknown
“Women love a self–confident bald man.” – Larry David
“Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” – Bill Maher
“Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.” – Unknown
“Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.” – Jackie Mason
“If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.” – Chuck Palahniuk
“No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.” – Joyce Brothers
“Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X–rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
“Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it’s just another way to bleed.” – Laurell K. Hamilton
“I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.” – Russell Brand
“Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.” – Unknown
“Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.”
“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” – Billy Crystal
“I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” – Jean Illsley Clarke
“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.” – Charlie Brown
My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor.” – Elayne Boosler
“Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.” – Oscar Wilde
“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” – Franklin P. Jones
“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.” – Johnny Carson
“Loving is like peeing in your pants – everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth.”
“Love is loving what your lover loves.”
“Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.” – Oscar Wilde

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