51 New Funny Love Quotes Give by Great human’s In English

Most people’s demand that we placed on our site Funny Love Quotes. So here we have brought to you some funny love quotes. Here’s the funny love quotes are provided by Great Men.

funny quotes, love quotes
  1. “If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin
  2. “Being a good husband is like being a stand–up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” – Jerry Seinfeld
  3. “Love thy neighbor, just watch out for the husband.”
  4. “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” – Jean Illsley Clarke
  5. “Falling in love is not at all the most stupid thing that people do, but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it.” – Albert Einstein
  6. “A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
  7. “What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.” – Pearl Bailey
  8. “The only thing worse than a boy who hates you: a boy that loves you.” – Markus Zusak, The Book Thief
  9. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.4” – Charles Schulz
  10. “Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.” – Lynda Barry
  11. “My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.” – Ray Romano
  12. “Love lasteth as long as the money endureth.”
  13. “I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.” – Jack Benny
  14. “Beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, though, maybe, an injured one.”
  15. “A touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.” – Plato
  16. “Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.” – Unknown
  17. “Love means nothing in tennis, but it’s everything in life.” – Author unknown
  18. “A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick. A youth with his first girl makes everybody sick.” – Mary Wilson
  19. “Come live in my heart and pay no rent.” – Samuel Lover
  20. “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long–term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” – Chelsea Handler
  21. “Trust your husband, adore your husband, and transfer as much property as you can to your name.”
  22. “Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X–rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
  23. “Love, I’ve come to understand is more than three words mumbled before bedtime.” – Nicholas Sparks
  24. “People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” – Andy Warhol
  25. “Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.” – David Sedaris
  26. 30. “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” – Phyllis Diller
  27. 31. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” – Erma Bombeck
  28. “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” – Henny Youngman
  29. A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. – Helen Rowland
  30. “No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.” – Unknown
  31. “Women love a self–confident bald man.” – Larry David
  32. “Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” – Bill Maher
  33. “Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.” – Unknown
  34. “Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.” – Jackie Mason
  35. “If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.” – Chuck Palahniuk
  36. “No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.” – Joyce Brothers
  37. “Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X–rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns
  38. “Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it’s just another way to bleed.” – Laurell K. Hamilton
  39. “I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.” – Russell Brand
  40. “Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.” – Unknown
  41. “Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.”
  42. “Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” – Billy Crystal
  43. “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” – Jean Illsley Clarke
  44. “Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.” – Charlie Brown
  45. My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor.” – Elayne Boosler
  46. “Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance.” – Oscar Wilde
  47. “Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” – Franklin P. Jones
  48. “I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.” – Johnny Carson
  49. “Loving is like peeing in your pants – everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth.”
  50. “Love is loving what your lover loves.”
  51. “Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.” – Oscar Wilde